Pondering the big question........

I have such a reliable internal clock and lately it has set itself to go off at 4:59 a.m.  EVERY MORNING!  It started while I was in Haiti and at first, I thought I was responding to the sounds of the city waking up.  But now that I've been home and in my own bed for a few days, it's still waking me up right before 5:00 every morning and trying to fall back asleep has been nothing but a frustrating, wasted effort.

What's the point to anything?  Do you ever wonder?  Eddy and Lucas like to watch these t.v. shows about space and time.  Last night I heard a solemn voice announcing that our sun was going to eventually run out of fuel and burn itself out, at which time it will become a red star.  And I thought, "Time is going to pass, and a billion years from now not even the important, significant people from our society will be remembered....." and I finally figured out the answer to one of life's great questions; "What really matters in life?"  The answer is, absolutely nothing! 

Or is it? 

Someone help me out here.  If you are reading this, please take the time to figure out how to post a comment.  I'm waiting to hear from you.

In the meantime.... check out this picture I took in Haiti.

People in Haiti find it significant that while the church in this photo crumbled, the cross holding up a suffering Christ remains steadfast.  A photo similar to this one has even been circulating around the internet with the subject title "Look what's still standing in Haiti".  Come on people.....  Do folks really believe that God would protect this inanimate statue while allowing hundreds of thousands of children and adults to be crushed to death?  I'm thinking a much more reasonable explanation is that the solitary cross didn't have thousands of pounds of cement sitting on top of it and so it remained uneffected.  Much like the sign post just a few yards up the street.  Oh well...... I'm still trying to make some kind of sense out of the sights I saw and the stories I heard while I was in Haiti.  Again, if you're reading this, let me know your thoughts!

From Port-au-Prince

Wow!  I thought it had been such a long time since I posted, surely nobody was following me anymore.  Glad to see I still have at least one faithful reader.  Thank God for sisters!

I arrived in Port three days ago.  My internet connection is unreliable and slow so this will be a short blog!  I drove around the city with my camera two days ago.  At first, I was asking Dadou to stop every few minutes so I could capture an image.  But after a while, it started to seem senseless!  There is so much devastation and it doesn't take long before it all starts to look the same!  How many pictures can you take of crumbled houses and still have something different to say with each image?  Some buildings have disintegrated into nothing more than a pile of dusty rubble.  And even though these buildings have been completely destroyed, the image isn't as powerful as a house that still retains some of its structure but is in a crumbled state.  To see a huge building or house sitting at an angle with walls missing and the cement roof caved in........  it's an awesome sight.  I wish I could post a few pictures, but don't have the capacity to do that so will have to wait until I get home.

I was able to visit many of our friends and Eddy's family yesterday.  Their situations are amazing.  It's true that there is a resilient spirit in this country.  Life goes on despite the loss and devastation.  People have already adjusted to their new situations.  Yesterday marked one month since the quake and all the churches, Protestant and Catholic, are holding three days of fasting and services.  As I drove around the streets, the church doors were open and the streets were PACKED with people who could not find entrance.  Everybody praising God and blessing the miracle of another day. ....

I've been sleeping under the stars and there is something very natural about it.  To sleep on the ground among a bunch of strangers who feel like friends with the moon and the stars looking down......  I don't know how to describe it other than to say, my sleep is deep and peaceful.

My boxes have arrived at the depot in Port-au-Prince and I'm waiting on Thomas to come get me so I can begin the process of dividing the provisions up and delivering them to folks in need.  My brother-in-law will be arriving from Jeremie on Tuesday and he will be taking supplies of food and money back to people in Jeremie.  It's hard to make a plan for the future as everything continues to be so unreliable.  But we are taking our days minute by minute and things are managing, somehow, to get done!

From the DR

So much has happened since the earthquake.  I am in the DR on my way to Haiti.  I arrived last night, but my luggage did not!  So, I'm hoping it arrives on the 1:15 flight this afternoon.  I will blog about Haiti and the earthquake another time.  My life has been so full of Haiti and the earthquake that it's like a closet that's totally unorganized and stuffed full of junk.  I need some time to sort things out and make some sense out of the last few weeks.

In the meantime, I'm reading a great book called Let the Great World Spin by Colum McCann.  He puts words together in such beautiful and profound ways.  Here are some of my favorite quotes from the book so far:

...he was some bright hallelujah in the shitbox of what the world really was.

When you go around in circles, brother, the world is very big, but if you plow straight ahead it's small enough.  I wanted to fall along the spokes to the center of the circle, where there was no movement.

Pain's nothing.  Pain's what you give, not what you get.

...the space for God is one of the last great frontiers: men and women can do all sorts of things but the real mystery will always lie in a different beyond.

...words are good for saying what things are, but sometimes they don't function for what things aren't.

Maybe today will be a great day since I can spend my morning just reading and not feel guilty while I wait for my luggage to arrive.  I'm staying at a very nice, family owned bed and breakfast.  It's only been open for about a month and the owners are charming.  I'm the only guest, so getting lots of individual attention.  My room is clean and comfortable with everything I would want: cable t.v., internet connection, hot/cold running water, air conditioning....  And the coffee they served at breakfast was wonderful!  I must find some to buy and take home with me!