Life has been hard lately. I've been trying to get through my days by finding the joy in each moment and not thinking about tomorrow, or the day after....
This strategy has more or less worked for me, but it's been much more of a challenge for my husband. He is stuck in Haiti where it's almost impossible to find joy in any given moment. He's had to deal with oppressive heat, primitive living conditions, limited resources, corruption, illness, hunger, surrounded by folks conditioned over decades to expect a hand-out and not think for themselves.
Since losing his job back in June, he's been trying to create other sources of income for our family. It was this pursuit that landed him in Haiti back in early March. After three months of giving it his all, he is ready to come home, defeated.
Last week, I sat curled on the couch in my pajamas and listened to him tell me that he just couldn't do it anymore. He needed to come home. He asked me to make a reservation for him sometime during the second week of June. He sounded broken and defeated.
While we were talking, I saw a car pull into our driveway. The driver was a large, black man. I told Eddy I'd have to call him back.
I stood at the window and watched as the large man unfolded himself from the front seat of his car and grabbed a cane from the seat next to him. He lugged himself upright and began a slow, labored shuffle up our front walk. He looked familiar to me.
I met him at the front door.
"Is Eddy home?" he asked me.
"No. He's in Haiti. Can I help you?"
"I used to work for him at the mission," the man said. And then, I realized who he was. He had been a cook at the time Eddy lost his job.
"Oh, yes! I remember you! You worked in the kitchen. What is your name again?"
"Roy," he told me.
I recognized the name immediately. Eddy had lost his job over an incident involving Roy while Eddy was off on a week's vacation. Eddy felt his days at the mission were numbered, but had been surprised when Administration decided to use the "Roy Incident" as the reason for his dismissal.
Roy stood there and looked at me through watery eyes. He shuffled a bit with his cane and then began telling me how much Eddy had helped him. He told me that he was now living in Bloomington and was going through the "program" there. He was back in Fort Wayne for a short visit.
He told me that Eddy had helped him through some very rough times and because of him, he had hope for a better future. He told me that he just wanted to come back and thank Eddy personally for taking an interest in him and helping him.
I told him Eddy would be so glad to hear from him and I assured him that the next time I talked with Eddy, I would relay his message. He stood there for a few beats longer and I thought he was going to start crying. Or, if he didn't, I was afraid I might. Then, he turned around and shuffled back to his car.
After he left, I went back inside and thought about the last several months. Roy was just one of several men from the mission who came to our home looking for Eddy after he lost his job. All of them quite emotional and expressing similar feelings of gratitude for his involvement in their lives. I've even been approached on a couple of occasions by men who are strangers to me, men whose lives have been touched by Eddy and who recognized me as his wife. It's been my privilege to accept their expressions of gratitude on Eddy's behalf, to hear their stories of how Eddy touched their lives.
I shared the story of Roy with Eddy and he told me that over the last several months while he has been in Haiti, he has had similar experiences. Folks have shown up at his door to tell him how his wife has touched their lives and helped them through a difficult time.
We had to laugh at that; while I've been here accepting expressions of gratitude on Eddy's behalf, he's been in Haiti accepting expressions of gratitude on my behalf! And we realized that our lives are full and rich. We may not have much left in the way of material resources, but life continues to be filled with opportunities to be involved in the lives of others. And when all is said and done, isn't that what really matters?
This strategy has more or less worked for me, but it's been much more of a challenge for my husband. He is stuck in Haiti where it's almost impossible to find joy in any given moment. He's had to deal with oppressive heat, primitive living conditions, limited resources, corruption, illness, hunger, surrounded by folks conditioned over decades to expect a hand-out and not think for themselves.
Since losing his job back in June, he's been trying to create other sources of income for our family. It was this pursuit that landed him in Haiti back in early March. After three months of giving it his all, he is ready to come home, defeated.
Last week, I sat curled on the couch in my pajamas and listened to him tell me that he just couldn't do it anymore. He needed to come home. He asked me to make a reservation for him sometime during the second week of June. He sounded broken and defeated.
While we were talking, I saw a car pull into our driveway. The driver was a large, black man. I told Eddy I'd have to call him back.
I stood at the window and watched as the large man unfolded himself from the front seat of his car and grabbed a cane from the seat next to him. He lugged himself upright and began a slow, labored shuffle up our front walk. He looked familiar to me.
I met him at the front door.
"Is Eddy home?" he asked me.
"No. He's in Haiti. Can I help you?"
"I used to work for him at the mission," the man said. And then, I realized who he was. He had been a cook at the time Eddy lost his job.
"Oh, yes! I remember you! You worked in the kitchen. What is your name again?"
"Roy," he told me.
I recognized the name immediately. Eddy had lost his job over an incident involving Roy while Eddy was off on a week's vacation. Eddy felt his days at the mission were numbered, but had been surprised when Administration decided to use the "Roy Incident" as the reason for his dismissal.
Roy stood there and looked at me through watery eyes. He shuffled a bit with his cane and then began telling me how much Eddy had helped him. He told me that he was now living in Bloomington and was going through the "program" there. He was back in Fort Wayne for a short visit.
He told me that Eddy had helped him through some very rough times and because of him, he had hope for a better future. He told me that he just wanted to come back and thank Eddy personally for taking an interest in him and helping him.
I told him Eddy would be so glad to hear from him and I assured him that the next time I talked with Eddy, I would relay his message. He stood there for a few beats longer and I thought he was going to start crying. Or, if he didn't, I was afraid I might. Then, he turned around and shuffled back to his car.
After he left, I went back inside and thought about the last several months. Roy was just one of several men from the mission who came to our home looking for Eddy after he lost his job. All of them quite emotional and expressing similar feelings of gratitude for his involvement in their lives. I've even been approached on a couple of occasions by men who are strangers to me, men whose lives have been touched by Eddy and who recognized me as his wife. It's been my privilege to accept their expressions of gratitude on Eddy's behalf, to hear their stories of how Eddy touched their lives.
I shared the story of Roy with Eddy and he told me that over the last several months while he has been in Haiti, he has had similar experiences. Folks have shown up at his door to tell him how his wife has touched their lives and helped them through a difficult time.
We had to laugh at that; while I've been here accepting expressions of gratitude on Eddy's behalf, he's been in Haiti accepting expressions of gratitude on my behalf! And we realized that our lives are full and rich. We may not have much left in the way of material resources, but life continues to be filled with opportunities to be involved in the lives of others. And when all is said and done, isn't that what really matters?
