The Birthday Present (the truth is finally revealed)

When I was about eleven years old, my best friend invited me to her birthday party.  Nancy and I had known each other since we were four (me) and two (her) years old.  We grew up in the same church and spent as much of our time together as our parents would allow.

Shortly after my family moved into a large house out in the country, and just a few short weeks before her birthday party, Nancy came over for a weekend.  We took a hike through the woods and while we sat on a rotting wooden bridge, our feet dangling over the small creek that ran below, I shared an idea I had for a short story.  At eleven years old, I'd come to understand that I was a genius;  my head was filled with brilliant ideas and I felt confident that I was smarter than most of the folks around me.  I was excited as I shared my idea with Nancy because I knew she would be as impressed with my creative genius as I was.

My idea was that God had created a second world.  This second world had started out exactly the same as our world, with Adam and Eve and the Garden of Eden.  But the difference was, sin never entered this second world.  The people living in this world were sin free and so had a very different destiny than many of those living in our world.  As far as brilliant, creative ideas go, this one was terrible!  I hadn't yet figured out that it is sin that makes a story interesting.  Without conflict and wrong doing, how interesting can a story possibly be?

I was excited about Nancy's party because we always had so much fun at her house!  When I told my mom about the party, she told me that she didn't think I should go because we didn't have the money to buy Nancy a birthday present.  I argued with her, saying that Nancy wouldn't mind.  She didn't care about presents but it was VERY important to her that I be at her party!  (I believed this at the time, but I now realize that Nancy probably wouldn't have cared one way or the other if I showed up!)

My mom gave in and let me go.  The party was great!  Nancy's mom had planned and organized a lot of games.  One game involved hiding prizes in the front room.  I remember being very focused, while the other girls were laughing and leisurely looking for prizes, I was going about the business of methodically searching the room.  I started in one corner and moved my way backwards until I had found the majority of the prizes, leaving only three or four for the other girls.  I was sure they all were impressed with my amazing ability at finding things!  Nancy's mom, on the other hand, seemed disturbed that one child was walking off with all the booty and to my shock, she went off into the kitchen and returned with more prizes for the other girls, balancing things out.  Didn't seem fair to me, but, oh well.......

When the time came for Nancy to open her presents, I began to feel a bit uncomfortable.  I pretended not to be too interested in what was going on.  Nancy opened her gifts, one after the other, and the girls all showed signs of enthusiasm with each.  When she was finished, one of the guests felt obliged to bring to everyone's attention that Marialyn hadn't given Nancy a gift.

I was mortified, but kept my cool. Thinking quickly, I said "Nancy, you remember that story I was telling you about?  Well, I wrote it all out and made it into a book for you.  I forgot to bring it but I'll give it to you Sunday."

When I got home, I started working on my book.  But the story went nowhere!  Every interesting thing I thought to write into the story line, I realized wouldn't work because it couldn't have happened in a world without sin.  After only one day, I gave up.  I decided Nancy wouldn't remember anything about it anyway.

The following Sunday, Nancy came up and reminded me about the book.  She was genuinely eager to read my story!  Thinking quickly once again, I told her that I hadn't wanted to wait until Sunday to give it to her so I had mailed it.  Hadn't she gotten it yet?  She told me, "no."  I advised her to wait a few days, it would surely be showing up.

As the weeks went by and Nancy never received her book, she told me that her mom had told her that I probably had made the whole thing up because I felt embarrassed for not bringing a present.  This infuriated me because nothing makes a liar more angry than being told she's a liar!  I insisted that I had mailed the book, it must have just gotten lost in the mail.  And, unfortunately, it was an original and my ONLY copy.

Something interesting happened after that.  As the months and even years went by, I began to believe that I had actually written the story and mailed it to Nancy.  Several years later, as I was laying in my bed, I was thinking about that story and I found myself regretting that it had gotten lost in the mail.  It wasn't until I tried to remember the details of the story I had created that I remembered the whole thing had been a lie!

Can you imagine how uninteresting this story of mine would have been without the element of sin?  I would have just gone to Nancy's party without a present and simply told her, "I'm sorry, but we didn't have the money to buy you a present."

B O R I N G ! ! !

Most Honorable Face

Today, I learned that I have a most honorable face.  I learned this from Venerable Saddha.  He is a Buddhist monk.  I stopped by his temple early this morning and was invited into the temple where he shared many, many things with me about life.  At the alter sat a large, golden statue of the Buddha.  He was surrounded by smaller statues and decorations of bright colors.  The floor was covered with oriental rugs of varying sizes.  Benches lined the walls and there was an alter along one wall that had glass jars of colorful incense.  The room was large and airy; very peaceful and relaxing.  I could see why people would come here to meditate.

Venerable Saddha kept asking me if I had any questions.  I kept saying "no."  He seemed a little disappointed that I didn't have any questions and he encouraged me several times to ask questions, declaring that he has many, many answers.  He showed me pictures from his travels and even gave me one of him taken in Thailand with an important political figure.  When a Buddhist monk gives something to a woman, he is not allowed to give it directly into her hand.  He either must place it on a table or the floor for her to pick up, or drop it from above into her two outstretched hands.

He also gave me a medallion with a picture of the Buddha on it which, he assured me, would keep me safe from harm.

Everybody I met at the temple was very friendly.  They all encouraged me to come back any morning and meditate with them.  They also gather every evening around 6:00 and enjoy music and dancing.  I was invited for this also.

At the end of our time together, Venerable Saddha told me that I had a most honorable face and that I should run for mayor.  He assured me that if I would run for mayor, he would guarantee the backing of the entire Thai, Lao, and Burmese communities.

I was invited to come back in the afternoon to eat.  They told me that there would be lots of food.  I am not the type to let any invitation involving food go unanswered!  So, I went back around 1:00.   They did indeed have lots of food!  I felt a bit awkward though as I seemed to be the only white person there and I wasn't sure what the procedure was for obtaining food.  There were several long tables filled with pans of food and ladies behind the tables were busy frying and cooking even more food.  Music was being played from under a large, open party tent while men sat around drinking beer and children played in the sand.  I sat by myself at a long, empty table and watched the goings-on while my stomach rumbled in loud competition with the music.  Finally, I screwed up my courage and approached the food tables.  What had I been worried about?  The ladies were thrilled to talk with me and gave me samples of their food.  I ended up with a plate of fried fish and another of prawns.

All in all it was a very interesting day and I have to say, I am considering their suggestion that I run for mayor. At least it's a paying job!

Girl, You Have Put on Some WEIGHT!!!

It happened three days ago as I was leaving the bank.  I ran into a woman I use to work with and whom I haven't seen in about five years.  I recognized her immediately (she looks exactly the same as last time I saw her.)  As I yelled out her name and waved at her enthusiastically, she stared at me blankly.... with no clue as to who I was or why I was yelling at her.

After several prompts from me, it finally dawned on her who I was.  She grabbed me up in a big embrace and as she hugged me, she placed her mouth near my ear and said, "Girl!  You have put on some weight!"  What could I do but admit that I had?

She held me at arm's length and said, "Oh!  You used to be so thin!  And I always loved your long hair.  But.... you still looking alright."

Can someone please tell me what the appropriate response is to THAT?

Well, I'll tell you what MY response was.....  From the bank, I got in my car and drove straight to the grocery store to pick up a month's supply of Slim Fast.  As I drove, I figured out my new diet plan.  Slim Fast twice a day (for breakfast and lunch) and a sensible dinner, with small but healthy snacks in between.

Decided to try and make a slushy by blending it with ice

Thought if I poured it in a pretty glass, I'd feel more satisfied.  WRONG!

I've put on 1.6 pounds since then and gone to bed hungry the last two nights.  Today, I decided to change it up.  My new plan is to drink a fruit slushy for breakfast (I read the label on that Slim Fast and found out that it contains sugar and 50 of the calories come from FAT!  Not only that, but it doesn't even taste good!) have my biggest meal of the day at around 1:00 and then have a low-fat yogurt, some fruit, and a handful of nuts for supper.  I plan to continue to eat small, healthy snacks throughout the day, like a small piece of fruit, a nibble of low-fat cheese, or a handful of raw nuts.

Today, I took advantage of my sister's crazy obsession.  In addition to chickens, she's obsessed with her ginormous garden.  She and her husband planted a garden this year that could feed a small village!  I'm thrilled with her obsessions; her chickens keep me in cage-free eggs and her garden is helping to feed my family.  Last week she gave me some collard greens, Swiss chard, peppers, mint, basil, green beans, cucumbers, and the very first tomato from her garden!  When you combine her obsession with mine (cooking), here's what you end up with:

Indian spiced green beans

Collard paratha (Indian bread made with collard greens)

Raita with fresh cucumbers and tomatoes

Today's sensible meal

I suspect that I will not be losing any weight.  But at least I'll be eating good!

P.S.  If you'd like the recipe for the delicious green beans, click here!

My Sister

I like to make fun of my sister.  She's always BUSY, BUSY, BUSY!  Do you want to know what she's busy doing?  Chicken stuff.  She's got a bunch of chickens and she spends countless hours a day taking care of her chickens and doing chicken-related things.  Like collecting eggs or building bigger chicken coops or constructing incubators.  

My sister likes to ridicule me for starting work on tomorrow's supper as soon as I finish today's.  She thinks it's a bit odd that I write out grocery lists and spend time traveling around from market to market looking for particular ingredients to use in my cooking.  Well.... I think it's a bit odd for someone to spend time and money building saddles to put on their hens' backs because the Rooster is ripping out their feathers and tearing up their skin when he aggressively and savagely has his way with them.

Whatever floats your boat, I guess.  But when I make fun of my sister, I have to do it under my breathe because if she even suspects she is being made the butt of some joke, she's likely to turn me black and blue.  She's tiny, but she's MEAN!

Through the Looking Glass.....

I feel like I've stepped through the looking glass.  Last week was my birthday and for the first time in 49 years, my dad gave me a card (which he bought himself!) and a present.  And also, for the first time in 49 years, I got neither a card nor a present from my mom.

This is a very strange way to start my 50th year of life.  I'm expecting that anything at all can happen from here on out.  Things I thought I knew for sure, I may find out are nothing but lies.  Right might become wrong, while wrong may suddenly seem right!  I've already discovered that eating less and exercising makes me gain weight.  And other topsy-turvy things are happening.  For example:

• my husband lost his job and instead of the increased financial worries placing stress on our marriage, we seem to be growing closer as we spend our days together
• my son landed a full-time job and now, each morning he heads off to work while Eddy and I hang around the house
• we've been without power four times in the last month and a half and I'm not even in Haiti!  I had a phone conversation with Dadou, my friend in Haiti, a couple of weeks ago.  I was sitting in the semi-dark surrounded by candles while he was watching t.v.  How backwards is that??!!  

With just one year left until 50, I decided I should pull out my list of "things-to-do-before-turning-50" and see what kind of progress I've been making.  I have completed numbers 4, 7, 8, 9, and begun work on 10.

Number 4 I took care of while eating one day at Mahnin's.  A lady came in who seemed a bit unsure of herself.  I was eating alone and invited her to sit at my table with me.  We visited over lunch.  I found out that she goes to Broadway Christian Church and knows several people I know.  I shared my samosas and shrimp rolls with her and we had a nice time.

Number 7 was a lot of fun.  Eddy and I did indeed attend my girlfriend's wedding in CA and we also drove down the coastline from Seattle, WA, through Oregon, through the Redwood Forrest, attended a taping of Jeopardy, and finally landed in Newport Beach.  It was great fun!

Number 8 did not go so well.  I did not feel happy or euphoric but rather ended up nauseous and with a terrible headache.  Won't be doing THAT again!

Number 9 I took care of back in December when I threw a party and made everybody sit and listen while I stood and recited the Raven (with only a few prompts from Eddy) start to finish.

Number 10 I work on a bit every now and then.  I'm actually doing pretty well with my left hand!

Filthy Liars

Ten months pregnant.  With twins.  That's what I look like.  For months now, I've been watching in amazement as my stomach has grown and grown.  Considering that my food consumption and level of inactivity has remained constant, I'm baffled as to what is causing my stomach to expand.  I wonder if it could be "middle-age?"

Everywhere I turn, I hear folks claiming that simply walking briskly for a short period of time every day, will take the weight off.  As my countdown to 50 is rapidly decending, I decided it was now or never.  My goal is to have the weight off by the time I hit that momentous number.

I started going to the Y.  I drag myself there every morning, six days a week, and walk briskly for 2 miles.  Sweat trickles down my sides.  My heart thuds in my chest.  My joints ache.  But still, I carry on.  And after one entire month, here's what I've discovered.  They are all filthy liars!  Everyone who claims walking is a painless and sure-fire method to lose weight is a filthy liar!

I haven't lost one pound!  The only change between now and one month ago is that my favorite time of day has now become my most dreaded time of day.  I used to love getting up early, sipping a cup of coffee while the rest of the household slumbered, leafing through a cookbook or reading a book.  Now, I can't wait for 11:00 to roll around when I'll be bathed, dressed, and finished with the morning's torturous routine.

And while my mornings are ruined by self-inflicted physical abuse, my stomach continues to rise from my frame like a freshly popped pan of jiffypop popcorn.

It's very discouraging!!!!